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What Men's Outlook on Intimacy?

What is intimacy? From a general perspective, intimacy is all about emotional closeness. It takes place when two people are emotionally open with each other and don’t shy away from expressing their feelings, fears, thoughts and desires. It’s also about letting your guard down for your partner and genuinely building the relationship on the foundation of trust.

Difficulties for Men

When it comes to intimacy, men tend to struggle a lot. Most men abandon relationships because they fear that they will lose their independence. They fail to comprehend the idea that true emotional closeness is about being connected with your partner while balancing the sense of yourself.

Men often confuse intimacy with sex. These are not the same thing. Without intimacy, sex is just a physical activity and can be very unrewarding. With it, sex can be deeply passionate and fulfilling. What most men don’t know is that intimacy is an experience that can also be felt without having sex.

Men and Intimacy 

1.       Men Communicate Facts Rather than Emotions

Studies show that an average male uses about 12,000 words a day, and most of those are spent at work while at their jobs, and their focus is mainly on facts. Here are a few ways men gobble up their brain’s average word count:      

* Giving in-put to co-workers.

* Making business calls.

* Talking to the boss

·       *  Debating on the current challenges of the world at lunch

Men’s perspective in any conversation is about coming up with facts and being dominant. Women look for meaningful communication and memorable conversations, especially when they are in the company of their partner.

2.       A Man’s Identity is Achievement-Oriented

Most men define themselves through their ability to achieve results through success and accomplishment. In general, men are more interested in finishing the race first, achieving their goals and proving their competence. Men will not ask for help unless their back is against the wall and have no other options left.

The reason why women are more intimate than men is that their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships. Women never shy away from nurturing, supporting and helping their mate.

3.       Men Are Solution-Focused

Men have a more difficult time relating to their own feeling, and some even feel threatened by the expression of feelings in their presence. This leads to two outcomes – they either bail out of the conversation or attempt to solve them quickly. What they fail to comprehend is that sometimes women don’t look for an answer. Your presence is the only thing that matters to them and often want someone who can sincerely listen to them.

Why Do Men Struggle with Intimacy?

There is no question here that men do tend to struggle with intimacy. According to Terry Real, a notable and very sought-after family therapist, the issue boils down to the disconnect that exists between what society teaches them to value and what it expects them to be. The true essence of traditional masculinity lies in the idea of invulnerability. Most women want their men to be more emotionally intimate than we traditionally raised them to be.

Bottom Line

Throughout history, men have struggled with the idea of intimacy. It’s not an implication that all men are bad at being intimate, but the majority of them fail to do so. Finding a partner who cares about how you feel and what you want is a blessing, and therefore, you should never stop looking.

If you are looking for the perfect partner or friend to talk to, visit and be a part of our community where thousands of men and women find their perfect mate.

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